There is so much in the words we are saying...
Have you ever thought about the way people talk about each other? I found that it is really true to say that the way you talk about others describes mostly you yourself, not the other one... The words you use are so indicative. They are indication about your personality and your growth... Because it is a matter of growth and evolution to respect all the people who have received your love, your time, your attention at some point in your life.
I am not an angel and I've been angry or hurt. My own thoughts and words were not always been like pink butterflies. But I taught that the fault is not only in the other person. The fault is mutual. Reactions are just like mirror reflections. Whatever you show in the mirror, it will show you the same back.
And it is true for any kind of relationships. I mean any kind of a normal relationship, without any violence or something like that...
It is indicative how you are talking about your friends, your parents, neighbors and people you don't even know in person.
Here I will share my thoughts about the love relationships. Mostly because I've read in social media so many ugly words about people's ex-es.
Well, people, do you realize that these words are written and somehow public (despite your privacy settings... You know that there is no privacy... I won't talk about any conspiracy theories. I mean simple things like screenshots, for example.)? It is still ugly even if you are saying it in a private conversation with somebody in person, but when becomes more public, "ugly" is coming to be very soft word...
Do you think that your future The One would choose a person which mind could think in this disgusting way for somebody who used to be part of their life...
Do you think that a real valuable and worthy person would say something like this? And yes, a gentleman could be in the same time a rebel, a bad boy, but never an oaf.
Or would you be proud your children to read or hear these words from you? Would you be happy to hear your parents to talk this way for somebody?
Why do you feel so confident to ruin someone's dignity?
Focus this energy to think more about how your own behavior might have provoked this person to act in one way or another.
I truly believe in the one and only love. I don't understand all this modern lack of moral values and cynically refusals of the belief in The One. And I hope I'll never understand it. But this will be another theme.
My opinion is that the problem nowadays is that it is not so easy to find the real one from the first time. And OK, I accept it somehow...
It doesn't mean that the wrong one who was part of my life is a bad person.
No, not at all!
I've chosen him among the others and he deserved it with something significant enough. We just aren't the right match for each other. Nobody of us is wrong or bad, or whatever... We are just too different. Just two puzzle pieces from different puzzles. Nice pieces but in wrong place. I know this puzzle metaphor is a cliché but the clichés have become such because they are true. There is nothing about this person qualities. He could be the best person ever, but just not mine one...
I suppose most of you adore chocolate. But I don't! Yes, there exist such kind of woman. I can value its qualities but it's not my favorite thing. There are other temptations for me. And there are many kind of examples - colors, flowers, even different kind of apples... They are all wonderful but in some indescribable way we are choosing one over the other.
We are all different and our different perception for the world makes us like different things and different people. And the reasons are often not so obvious. It is some kind of instinct. Something that is unique, indescribable... I can call it magic. The word just suits to my beliefs.
Somewhere deep in our mind and our heart we know this The One. He is only one. We are created for each other. The point is to be consciousness enough to recognize him. You know in some way how he looks like and what kind of person he is.
You know this thing with "your kind of man".
But everything is so blurry.
Your instinct is the tool that has to help you with the clarification...
As we all know in the modern high tech time, it is pretty hard to keep any instinct safe. We are distracted by so many things.
We are affected by all the information and advice all around. All this distraction confuses us when we are choosing our The One. Yes, there is somebody else with similar qualities and we are falling in a confusion and we make the wrong decision... Because everything is still so blurry... You feel that you are on the right track but not quite. There are some people who even have crushes with names similar or same to their The One's name before they meet him.
And there comes the moment when you are already sure that it is not a right track. But it is your own wrong decision to be there. It's not the other's fault about it. For him it is a wrong decision too. So, don't blame the other person for your sleepy instinct!
And sometimes (most of times) we hurt each other in this confused relationship. Just because we don't realize that it is the wrong one.. It is just a reflection, a reaction, an instinct... You have chosen to be with this person, you felt something, those thing with the butterflies in the stomach... But in the same time you feel that there is something wrong... Were these butterflies having gone wrong? They should be in someone else's stomach, shouldn't they? Wrong stomach, guys!
And you have no idea what you have to do... You don't even realize what the problem is... You are still living in the confusion that he is The One. The other person feels very similar thing... There is something that keeps you far away from the feeling to feel comfortable to be yourself...
And what would be an instinctive reaction when you are feeling trapped in a cage? Without even realizing the existence of the cage... You just feel something... tight.
You become completely driven by primitive reactions... You don't control it... Just know that you need something that gonna put away this irritation... You become restless, then nervous, then like a stubborn kid who just want to irritate others. And here come the reflections - he irritates you, you irritate him back...
And in general it becomes a kind of mini war and we all know how meaningless is the war. There is no winner or happy end.
I've kept a memory from my childhood which appear very often when I think about discomfort... As a kid I really hated to wear tights (And it still isn't my favorite thing so far). I always felt like they were not my measure and like they were tying my legs... And the greatest nightmare was coming when I had to put my pants on top. Awful feeling.... And all day long I was nervous, irritated and trying to do something just to go over this discomfort. But it was above all.
In our relationship could be the same. In order to do something we are making a bunch of stupidities... And it comes just to show us that we are living in some kind of mistake and have to get rid of it, to get out of there and to go ahead... And if we are smart enough to learn our lesson from the situation. It gonna help us to become our better version for the right life puzzle.
The sooner we realize it, the less hurt we will get out...
Be nice when you are talking for your ex one. He was a part of your life, he was your choice. Respect your choices. Respect your feelings. Love every part of your life. Think about that everything happens for a good reason. He taught you a lot, you did the same for him too...
Be nice and respect everyone who have received a part of you.
Because your love is a significant part of you!
The way you talk about a person who used to be part of your life describes you, not them!
Love 💕,
Heli
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